When Kate first told me that I needed to write our proposal story I was a bit confused by the assignment.  I know when Kate asked me to do this she really only wanted me to retell the story as it relates to the day I asked her to marry me, but that’s actually what confused me by this endeavor.  The fact of the matter is that our “Proposal Story” isn’t limited to the 24th of August.  Our story begins, like every other, when we first met and all the moments and memories afterwards; where marriage began simply as vague possibility, then later grew to become a prospect, and then at last became the plan.  Nonetheless, the Lady gets what she asks. So for those of you that actually get on to these websites and read every little write-up, here you go.

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Over the course of our courtship, Kate had indicated some not so subtle demands/expectations that I knew I would have to somehow incorporate into my plan.  The first of which was easy enough: I had to involve her sister, Emily, in the planning of the proposal. This particular stipulation I didn’t mind so much since I knew I would need the help anyways both for planning and execution. The next demand was easy as well, I had to use her full name. Kate also made it clear to me that she didn’t want a proposal that was public or “over-the-top”. In other words, something intimate, relatively simple, but genuine which is precisely my style.  However, my job would become complicated by Kate’s final expectation, but which would make it a uniquely Katie proposal. Despite (or perhaps in spite of) her request for a simple proposal that was not over-the-top, she still wanted something “beautiful” and “elegant.” In her own words, “I want something thats really special and shows you put a put a lot of thought into it.” So if you’re like me, you hear that and think, “okay, so not over-the-top, but over-the-top. Got it.”  Fortunately for me, while we’ve been dating, I have set the bar pretty low when it comes to being romantic (at least by her standards). So I was pretty sure as long I made some sort of an effort, she’d be impressed.  Anyways, I had received my mission, now it was time to plan and execute.

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Emily and I began planning the proposal.  Emily would give me ideas that she knew Katie would love and I would take those ideas and put a spin on them and tailor the ideas to reflect our relationship together.  From our brainstorming I had developed a plan. I knew I wanted to propose at my house, include Daisy, and that I would need a lot of candles and twinkly lights.  I also knew I wouldn’t be able to pull this off alone, so I enlisted Emily’s assistance and decided to have her fly down and help me. After ironing out the logistics, it was finally time to move on to the execution portion of this plan.

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I do need to take a pause here and make note of something of particular interest when it comes to proposals. The ring.

 

For those of you who do not already know, Kate’s diamond is a family heirloom that belonged to her grandfather.  It was always the plan, ever since she was a little girl, that the diamond in her grandfather’s wedding ring would be used as her engagement ring. However, getting the diamond re-cut, set, and the badn caste would require a significant amount of time.  Fortunately, Kate’s Aunt Helene is an extraordinary jeweler who was a part of the whole plan for the diamond already, and she streamlined the process to a degree. That notwithstanding, unfortunately the proposal could not wait for the ring. I had to improvise.  Instead of getting down on a knee and presenting her with a diamond as a promise of my love for her, I would give her the next best thing...in my humble opinion. A Ring Pop.

 

And not just any Ring Pop, a blue-raspberry Ring Pop, because my future fiancé deserves the best!

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Back to the execution of the proposal plan.  I had a general idea of what type of candles I would need, but I was unsure where I could acquire what I needed.  I could probably find them in candle store, but I couldn’t risk being spotted shopping in a candle store. I was in a rather precarious dilemma. Given the situation, I did what any self-respecting man would do: I went to Amazon.  Sure enough I found what I needed, and settled for the 48-count set. Then, after a chance encounter influenced by the divine at a convenience store, I found the perfect Ring Pop.  I was rolling.  Fast forward to Friday the 24th (conveniently skipping over the part where I may or may not have tipped Katie off that I was proposing that weekend) and I was feeling pretty confident.  I had even laid down a fool-proof alibi for when I inevitably would have to pick up Emily from the airport.  I told Kate that I had staff duty on the 24th so I would have to go onto post periodically throughout the day. Secretly, I would be driving to Raleigh to pick up her sister, but I told Kate that we should go out that evening after one of my “staff duty checks.”  Thankfully, she agreed.  All the pieces were set, so I left confidently for Raleigh and picked up my co-conspirator.  

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On the way back from the airport, I got Emily up-to-speed on how I planned the night would unfold.  I would take Kate out until it was dark. Meanwhile Emily would remain at my house and decorate with all the candles from Amazon and the twinkly lights I had bought from Hobby Lobby that morning.  Emily would also have the critical responsibility of affixing the Ring Pop to Daisy. I would continue to give Emily updates throughout the date so she would know when she would have to hide.  Once Emily and I felt she had a good understanding of the sequence of events, I decided to give Katie a call and let her know I was almost done with my “check” and that I would pick her up shortly. I preceded to drop Emily off at my house and grabbed Katie to begin the next phase.  As I drove the two of us on our date, Kate being her ever inquisitive self, kept badgering me to know what we were doing for our date. So I told her that we were on our way to enjoy a three-course dinner at three different restaurants, but I refused to tell her where, for fear that she might catch on to my plan.  Unsatisfied with my answer, but unable to do anything about it, she sat in the car in quiet resentment as we made our way to our first course: Appetizers at Applebees.

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Perhaps Applebees doesn’t sound like a very romantic spot but it has a special place in our relationship, and probably more so to me than to Kate.  Applebees was a part of what I consider to be Kate’s and my first "real" date in which we went to church in the morning and then had lunch at Applebees. While sentimental in the fact that it was the site of our “first real date,” it wasn’t the first time we had spent time together.  What made that date so special was that I vividly remember sitting in that church sanctuary and knowing I would marry Kate.  Perhaps that is why I consider that day to be our first date, but anyways, I promised that this would only be a “Proposal Story” and not a recap of our relationship...so back to the proposal.  At Applebees Kate ordered mozzarella sticks and I had buffalo wings.  Kate also capitalized on the August promo of $1 strawberry margaritas. As we finished up at Applebees, I asked Katie if she’s ready for our next course and was greeted with the following reply, “Wait, you were serious about that? Honey, I’m so full.” Yes, Kate. I was serious. So we loaded up in the car and headed to our main course.

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As we drove the 20 min across town to the next restaurant, Kate tried again - unsuccessfully - to figure out where we were going.  As we approached our destination, however, she began to realize that we were going to Umami.  Umami is a quaint little sushi/Asian cuisine restaurant and also just happens to be Kate’s favorite restaurant in Fayetteville, perhaps even all of North Carolina. Umami has been the place of many shared lunch and dinner dates and also has the distinction of being the first place I’ve ever had sushi and enjoyed it.  For those of you that know me, this is particularly noteworthy because I can’t stand most seafood, so that should tell you something.  Anyways, Kate was still kind of full from appetizers and asked if we could order takeout and go eat it by a lake. I capitulated, so we ordered a few rolls of sushi for takeout and headed to a lake on the outskirts of Fort Bragg.  Unbeknownst to Kate, we were on our way to the final venue.  It was already past sunset, so the view at the lake fell short of idyllic and the infestation of mosquitoes didn’t help either.  Assessing that the scenery of the lake was not worth dealing with the onslaught of mosquito bites, Kate and I retreated to the car and enjoyed our sushi within the mosquito-free confines of the vehicle.  As I recall, Kate only ate half of her Philly roll before she put it down.  Noticing she had stopped eating, I asked if she was ready for dessert.  I’ll tell you, I think that was one of the first times I’ve ever seen her disappointed by the idea of dessert, but regardless, we headed off for our third and final course.

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A better man probably would’ve taken Kate’s feelings into consideration and ended the date after Umami.  She had clearly neared her limits of food intake and had entered the early stages of a food coma. But I had a plan and I was sticking to it, so off we went to dessert at Ihop.  Ihop had special significance because Ihop was our fail-safe date spot.  If we couldn’t decide on a place to go, one of us was bound to suggest Ihop. You just can’t go wrong at Ihop and this would prove true once again as Kate ordered a coffee as a pick-me-up and I had the always delicious Banana Fosters Brioche French Toast. I asked for the check and as Kate went to use the bathroom, I texted Emily that we were on our way to the house.  Emily said everything was ready and so I drove the lovely fiancé-to-be to my house. Up until this point, I had been pretty composed.  In my mind I didn’t feel much different than any other date with Katie. However, I remember that at this part in the evening I started getting nervous. 

 

My heart was pounding and I anxiously began rehearsing all the things I wanted to say to her.  I struggled to maintain conversation all the back to the house.  As we neared my drive way and entered the cul-de-sac, you could see from the street the glow from the inside of the house.  I think it was at this point where it all came together for Kate and she finally realized why I had stubbornly dragged her to three different restaurants. I pulled into the driveway and parked the car, while deflecting the questions of “What is this!?” and “Are you serious!?” that she was hurling at me.  Taking her hand, I insisted we go inside. 

 

As I opened the door, I saw that Emily had done a much better job than I could’ve possibly imagined. It was unreal and I wish I could describe it to you.  Daisy sat on the other side of the room uncharacteristically calm and I called her over. Her ears perked up, she sprinted at me, and I tried to get the Ring Pop off, which was tied around her neck, as she wiggled and wagged her tail.  I finally got the Ring Pop off and I turned to Kate as I unwrapped the candy. 

 

I’ll spare you all the things I said to Kate but just know that I butchered all the things I had prepared to say.  After I finally made it through my disaster of a romantic confession, I got on my knee and looked her in her eyes.

 

I said, “Katherine Ilona Kapelsohn, will you make me Daisy’s daddy?” And before she let me follow-up with the traditional “Will you marry me?,” she was already jumping up and down screaming.  I’m pretty sure there was a “Yes” in there somewhere, and so we were officially engaged.